Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Tooth and nail

“Spank me,” said the note from suitably mysterious woman a few tables yonder, sitting pretty with her bunch of friends. The recipient was a friend of mine, who, by no stretch of imagination was an Adonis. I was amused. Why him then, we wondered. But more importantly, I was thinking, “What did he do to earn it?

Turns out not much, except he was in possession of that serial killer gizmo called Blue tooth. He was just sending out the right signals, pun unintended. And there was a whole community receiving it.
For the uninitiated, the blue tooth is a feature on your mobile phone that senses its gadget equivalent within a certain radius. And it seems to be the latest catalyst in the pick up circles, or so I am told. The modus operandi goes something like this: Girl with blue tooth enters club. Boy with blue tooth enters club. Girl gets alert on her blue tooth. She looks up, scans the place, and takes in the new entrants. By a process of elimination and eye contact, she finally zeroes in on blue toothed boy. To take it further, she sends him an sms. Or a note. And the deal is struck.
(Note: Boy can also send aforementioned signals to girl.)

I had just read about guerilla dating and the art of ambushing a suitable member of the opposite sex in a public place, and was suitably intrigued. May be the randomness of it all blows my mind. May be I am slower than I think—to give you an example, the beau and I had endless conversations spanning a couple of months about single malts, Men’s magazines, kitsch hindi movies, the great suburban divide and lasting childhood memories before we realised we spoke the same language, and started dating. If we were insta-blue tooth networked, I wonder if we’d have lasted this long.

Coming back to the girl who wanted to be spanked, it felt like that the laws of human behaviour had all changed while I wasn’t looking. It is no longer about cutesy stuff, romance or poetry. The rules of dating now resemble the law of the jungle. Survival of the fittest seems to be the only prevailing ethic. It is simply about sifting ‘potential serial killer types’ from ‘sperms you like to introduce to your egg’ types. It’s a place where rules are meant to be broken, and paradigms shifted. It is about complete disregard to the ‘this seat is taken’ policy, at least going by what one notices at clubs and other hangouts these days.

It reminded me of a certain menace I encountered a few months ago in a club. Now this hulk wanted to buy me a drink even though I made it quite clear not once, but twice that I was drinking water. When I finally confronted him about his pass, he said quite nonchalantly that he normally gave a woman the right of refusal three times before he decided it was a no. Quite magnanimous, I must say!

Recently my colleague noticed my phone and exclaimed, “You have blue tooth!” I felt like I was caught with ecstasy or something

I am clearly in a different zone, I thought. Or may be I am just old fashioned.

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