Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Yours, peasfully

Recently, I was invited to dinner at someone’s house and when the dinner was finally served, I found it to be all-meat.

“But I am vegetarian..” I mewed.

“Really? You don’t look it….” said the host.

“Meaning? Do I look carnivorous?”

“You don’t have a vegetarian face,” I was told.

Hmmmm…I was intrigued. It was not the first time it was happening to me, although I find people less shocked by my dietary habits now than they used to be ten years ago. It might have to do with the fact that Madonna, Richard Gere, Gwneth Paltrow, Tobey Maguire, Natalie Portman and more have turned vegetarian, so I am not such an oddball after all.

But there was definitely a subtext there. May be it appears that a woman who can speak her mind and call a spade a spade has to have meat-generated toxins in her body—where else will the aggression come from? Surely capsicum and spinach don’t pack in that punch.

“So, is it by choice or habit? Health or religion?”… is often what follows next.

I know next to nothing about religion. As far as habit goes, well, my dad did try to fortify us puny tots with chicken cube soup once upon a time, so I am sure I have tasted blood. Health sounds fashionable for sure. But, frankly, I just like eating things that look colourful—so I would rather choose a carrot or a beetroot or peas over meat..

So I fox them by saying.. “None of the above. It’s aesthethics..”

No more questions.

A handy retort would also be, “So are you carnivorous by choice? Or is it just that you like padding your body with toxins?”

Then there were the questions about singledom in a galaxy not far far away…

“So, are you seeing anyone?”

“No…”

“So you are single by choice?”

“Well, you could say that..”

“Hmmm interesting. But would you like someone in your life?”

“Ummm…I don’t know.. I am quite happy…”

“Don’t you want to settle down?”

This is the point when the said subject deserves a cup of tea/glass of wine, as the case may be… on his/her head. Or may be a twist in the questioning…

“Are you married by choice or did you sleepwalk into it?

Or better still….

“How come you are married?”

Exit party.



******

Then there are people who puff in your face without even asking whether you mind and raise an eyebrow when you refuse a cigarette. Again, stereotype. (Smoker=Cool)

“Don’t smoke?”

“Well, that would be technically incorrect. You are smoking for the both of us..”

No more questions.

No comments:

Post a Comment