Tuesday, August 16, 2011

"You are not about the looks"

A few days ago, a girlfriend of mine told me the best thing I had heard in a long, long time. We were at this party, sipping some free wine, and figuring out what our threshold for tolerance for flakiness was. We had both had enough of "Awesome!" and "Wassup?" and "That's way too cool." or "This party rocks!". So we were doing what the time and the space and decibels allowed us to do. Having a girlie chat. She said she liked my new haircut and I asked her if I should continue short or go back to long.

And then she told me something that I will remember for the rest of my life.

"You are not about the looks babe."

I wasn't sure I heard right. I know I am not conventionally pretty, but you know, other than the adolescent phase of "Oh my god, when will I ever have boobs?," I have been very confident about my persona, and always managed to pull. But had I actually got to that place where it didn't matter at all?

"You have that aura. You are beyond it. It hardly matters whether your hair is long or short, whether or not you colour your hair or whether your dress is too long or too short or whether your bum is too big or too small. You have a way of making all of these look insignificant.  You are your best accessory. It's only about you, not about how you are packaged!"

Whoa! I felt I had arrived. I felt that finally, I had reached that place where I was liberated from all the trappings of dressing up, looking sexy, wearing the right colour or having the right phone. I have been feeling free for quite a long time, but it took a friend to tell me that.

It felt bloody good!

So now I know why I always act nonplussed when someone asks me what I am wearing. The next time that happens, I am going to say, "I am wearing me!"


  1. That's the best way to be!

  2. Nice, just reading this made me feel me :)

  3. Hmmm...I am crossing my fingers that this continues after the next time a sleek little nymphette slithers by and your husband does a 180 degrees.

    If you leave the house the next day, without asking him, how do I look, I will know you have arrived.

    I do agree that there are alpha females, like alpha males, they are the ones who are sitting in a corner wearing a dingy shapeless tshirt but the male tension around her is palpable.

    If youre one of them, congrats.

    Me, I prefer women wearing Jean Paul Gaultier since wearing just you tends to pong sometimes in this Indian weather.

  4. What a perfect day for u to have written this post .... on my birthday n this time I turned 30!! Its always such a bittersweet age(mostly bitter) but after reading this post...I feel good about myself :) Thanks!

  5. @patriot: I have never worn shapeless clothes and I don't know what alpha-female is, but I certainly don't have to be grunge to attract male attention. I have more than my share of it, even post motherhood. My point is, i don't work too hard for it, and no one should, ideally! And I never ask my husband how i look, coz it doesnt matter what he thinks. What matters is how I feel. And my dear friend, i feel great, so it hardly matters if the husband does a 180 or a 360!

  6. Hi cookiepaws, happy birthday! Have a rocking life!

  7. Very cool, babe. I'm at that point in life as well, i.e. I look good in everything <>