Saturday, May 28, 2011

Mix and match

 Two nights ago, when I decided to put in an appearance at someone’s bringing-in-a-birthday thing, I saw something that got my relationship goddess antennae pop up.

So. There was this boy and there was this girl. And there was great chemistry. At least it appeared so, when they moved on the dance floor. Their bodies swayed in unison, they looked great together, they were the same body type (trust me, it is a big deal). They were both pleasant, poised and charming, or least that’s what I could gather upon employing full lung power to make conversation amid the din of the night club (or whatever they are called these days).

I nudged the husband. These two should be together. They will be good.

I think these thoughts all the time. About how X would work so well with Y. Or how certain couples would work better if they swapped their partners. Or why A cannot see that B is not the girl for him. And how B would be so much better off with C.

The husband hollered back. But he is dating Ms Jumpsuit. And what chemistry are you talking about? They are only dancing.

Oh nnnnoooooooo, I said, in the manner of my two-year old when he is trying to express disapproval at an object, an action or a sound. Ms Jumpsuit and he looked so wrong. Not that it was about aesthetics or anything—all people that feature in this story were equals in the looks department—but I have a theory about people who work and people who don’t. My relationship barometer is pretty much the same as my food barometer. Anything that looks right is usually right, and anything that does not look right usually is not. I tried explaining this to a roommate more than a decade ago when she was blinded by love to a certain young man. It does not look right, I said. But I am in love. I can feel the ache, she said.

They went ahead and got married. They were divorced before their second anniversary.  I guess sometimes it takes less than a rock or a marriage to figure that out. Others are just unlucky. In any case, there are no wrong guys and wrong girls. Only wrong relationships.

So I started probing about Ms Jumpsuit, and as usual, people were free with their opinions, only the strain of hearing them made me absolutely certain that I needed new ear drums. But I was bent on doing my research and I am very diligent in matters of the heart. Or the libido. So, one birdie told me that yes,  jumpsuit and the bloke were dating, on and off, but that he was really messed up and that jumpsuit only made matters worse.  Jumpsuit also sulked royally throughout the evening, much before her date was moving with the said ‘other girl’ and apparently, doesn’t like to be seen as an item with said bloke, and doesn’t like to be tagged in pictures with him around (people talk a lot more when they think they cannot be heard).

It was a complete no-brainer according to me. I wondered why Mr Floor wasn’t moving on.

But I am still foxed how the husband could not see the chemistry between the aforementioned that I was talking about. Men are usually daft about these things, sometimes more so when they are married.  I wondered, in this age of deafening music and totally non-conducive to conversation hangouts, what else is there to go by?  

Should do a Dr Hitch and tell the bloke that he was wasting his time with jumpsuit and that he should make a play for Ms Moves? I also wanted to tell Ms Moves (although I just met her) that she should do lunch with Mr Floor just to figure out if the chemistry works just as well in daylight, when the bodies are across the table and not in a simulated spooning position. But I didn’t. If I see them again, perhaps I will. If I meet them in a scenario where I could have a conversation that didn’t involve exploding lungs.

I feel like a fixer all over again. May be I should start a relationship portal. I have the initiative for both, but not the continuity of purpose to see it through, the quintessential Gemini that I am. Not that I am using my birthday as an excuse for not posting. It’s just too hot to write.


  1. Your post reminds me of an image I saw when I was very young...its kept me going throughout life.....

    Susan Anton and Dudley Moore.....Would you say they are fit for each other....Life and love make strange bedfellows.

    Secondly, I am not for the archaic idea that if you find someone its for time immemorial. Love is an experiment.....

    A chemistry one...sometimes the two chemicals explode upon mixing ...sometimes they just lie inert....and sometimes they do the opposite before they get to either state.

    People change, times change, circumstances change...Ms. Jumpsuit may not be right for Mr. move according to you...but are you looking at it from his point of view ?

    Leave the chemicals on the one likes the bearer of bad sometimes the mixture can blow your hand off.....LOL

  2. I do agree about the permanence thing, but chemistry is not always about explosion. Happy faces however are a nice thing to see, even if it is for the beholder. Which is what I saw in the new coupling as opposed to the older one. When i saw it from HIS point of view, he did look more livened up. I tend to believe what I see, it's an old habit.
    I think sometimes, relationships become a habit and people fail to see that they are at a dead end.
    But yes, I will take your advice and not be the harbinger of bad news. Even though the writing is pretty much on the wall. Ah, time will tell

  3. " Happy faces however are a nice thing to see, even if it is for the beholder. Which is what I saw in the new coupling as opposed to the older one. " should see my face when I'm dancing someone other than my life partner.....

    Everyone loves variety....Grass is always greener on other side of the fence , wait till Ms. Moves has to pick up his soiled towels which he leaves on the floors after a shower......and we'll see how happy they are as a couple....

    However as you say...que sera sera.....time will tell....

    Honestly, dont mind me I'm an old cynic and don't stop matchmaking at least mentally...its good fun..we all do it.

  4. Hahahhaha, that was a very funny post! Your insights are amazing. :D
    You should totally start a portal!